Jeanna Polisini
Reversed Reflections by Jeanna Polisini
After years of planning to adopt a little girl from China, my parent’s wish came true in September 2000. At ten months old, my parents and older sister picked me up from the orphanage in Guangzhou, China. Since that day, we have always been a tight-knit family. While my parents have always craved change, they gave me a linear and nurtured childhood. I never had to be the new kid in school, we stayed in my childhood home until I was 18, and I graduated high school with the same kids I once shared the rainbow rug with from Kindergarten. Though nobody could have ever prepared me for the day I moved away from the bubble of Thousand Oaks.
My time in college has been a place for reinvention as I discover pieces of myself through art. The perfectionist within me has learned failure does not define who I am and confusion is part of the journey. I often find myself questioning how I am perceived by the world and not being able to relate to others about being adopted. As a kid navigating life in a predominantly white area, I always wished I looked different. It was hard to love myself when my idea of beauty was blonde hair and blue eyes. Living outside of the bubble has also led me to question my religion. How can I keep my commitment to Judaism, despite not feeling connected to that community for the past few years?
On paper, I am a Jewish, Asian American with an Italian last name. Though I am constantly fighting an internal battle between two worlds. My parents never exposed me to the Chinese culture. Society assumes I am connected to this culture based on my physical appearances, but I have always felt “white” on the inside. I use humor as a coping mechanism rather than expressing my feelings. Though, I have never let little demeaning comments or experiences break my self-worth. I am now reflecting on these instances, such as people trying to speak Chinese to me and nail salon workers laughing as they were in disbelief my mom looked very different than me.
Based on society’s assumptions and reactions to who I am, I have channeled my confused emotions into this art piece, Reversed Reflections. The piece consists of five, 16x16” mirrors. I printed line drawings on clear vinyl and pasted them on these mirrors. Three of the images are photographs from my family’s trip to China. One image is a photograph from my Bat Mitzvah day in 2013. The last image is a portrait of myself from today, 2021.
Mirrors have always been a fascination as I have honed my art practice. The use of mirrors forces me to consider how tangible objects and the reflected space interact with each other. Humans are naturally drawn to mirrors to check their appearance unconsciously. Once the audience is viewing the work, they are automatically a part of it. Their physical image interacts with the images of my past, thus bringing the audience’s predisposed beliefs and biases into play. Ultimately, as the viewer simultaneously focuses on their image and the drawings, I am
reflecting society’s constraints and assumptions back onto itself.