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• 1 media/Screen Shot 2023-07-27 at 12.30.17 PM.png 2023-07-27T19:15:40+00:00 REALNESS 45 “There was no real body to be, no real ‘me’ to love" -Native Country of the Heart plain 2024-02-23T02:30:20+00:00
  • "To align oneself with the real while intimating that others are at play, approximate, or in imitation can feel good. But any fixed claim on realness, especially when it is tied to an identity, also has a finger in psychosis'” (17)  (Jacques Lacan) -The Argonauts
   
  • "D.W. Winnicott's notion of 'feeling real' is so moving to me. One can aspire to feel real, one can help others to feel real, and one can oneself feel real—a feeling Winnicott describes as the collected, primary sensation of aliveness, 'the aliveness of the body tissues and working of body-functions, including the heart's action and breathing,' which makes spontaneous gesture possible. For Winnicott, feeling real is not reactive to external stimuli, nor is it an identity. It is a sensation—a sensation that spreads. Among other things, it makes one want to live" (17).  -The Argonauts 
   
  • “I was a cloud stuck inside a person I didn’t choose to be” (60).  “My body wasn’t real so the cold didn’t matter much. The skinny, breast-budding, miniskirted pale thing was just a container” (57). -A Year Without A Name
   
  • “I was hollow, a porcelain casting of a person, filled with liquid light. The cast shattered. There was no container” (58). -A Year Without A Name
   
  • “After that I became addicted to the splitting feeling. It hurt a little, and I knew that when it hurt my body cracked and I wasn’t me anymore” (58). -A Year Without A Name
   
  • “It occurred to me that I've never been real. I recalled being a child and the memories felt as if they’d been implanted, pictures downloaded into a manufactured brain” (61). - A Year Without A Name
   
  • “It’s tempting to suggest, in retrospect, that our family was a sham. That our house was not a real home at all but the simulacrum of one, a museum. Yet we really were a family, and we really did live in those period rooms” (17). -Fun Home
   
  • “A suspension of the imaginary in the real was, after all, my father's stock in trade” (65) -Fun Home
   
  • "'How can I tell you this?...That this stub of...pencil that moves across the page of paper is not real, either, and that the truth lies on the other side of even these words'" -Native Country of the Heart: Four Souls, Louise Erdrich 

   

  • "When what is real is never fully public, it ceases in effect to be real. I thought it was a problem with narrative, with story, with word choice, but suddenly I saw it as a breakdown in ontology. In being and its meaning. The language used to describe reality defines and determines that reality, more than I ever knew. Beneath my feet the meaning of our relationship shifted, and my ability to know my own identity" -My Autobiography of Carson McCullers
     

  • "It makes me think that there will never be a time when women or lesbians are real—when we call them by name, use the right words to recognize them/ourselves. It's analogous to the concept of coming out, for the oft-cited reason that you never stop coming out as a queer person; every time you meet someone you must find a way to broach the topic or risk closeting yourself" -My Autobiography of Carson McCullers 
   
  • "My own chronic illness connects to fear, the feeling of not being real that accompanies queer womanhood. I don't always remember or believe my illness is real, because there is no reflection of it outside myself, my own feelings. As a 'fashionable illness,' it is a subject of ridicule (like Carson's 'obsessions' with women) or something that others fail or refuse to acknowledge (like lesbian invisibility)" -My Autobiography of Carson McCullers​​​​ 

  
   

  @keynote image, kai meyer
  
  
  
   
• 1 2023-07-28T19:29:45+00:00 IDENTITY IN MOTION 20 “We parted, passed, reformed, reshaping ourselves" -Zami plain 2023-07-30T00:37:39+00:00
  • “And in that moment, as in the first night when I held her, I felt myself pass beyond childhood, a woman connecting with other women in an intricate, complex, and ever-widening network of exchanging strengths” (Zami 175). 
   
  • "I know myself insofar as I know I am not singular, that what I am in this moment is born out of everyone I have known" (152, A Year Without A Name)
   
  • "Every woman I have ever loved has left her print upon me, where I loved some invaluable piece of myself apart from me---so different that I had to stretch and grow in order to recognize her. And in that growing, we came to separation, that place where work begins. Another meeting" (Zami 255). 
   
  • “I am more convinced than ever that we are shards of others. Through her relationships with other women, I can trace the evidence of Carson’s becoming, as a woman, as a lesbian, and as a writer. There are so many crushes in a lifetime, so many friendships that mix desiring-to-have with wanting-to-be” (20).
   
  • "Now I think of sexuality and identity, gender too, as processes of trial and error. You have to find what works for you. You need a narrative with room for messiness, one that can accommodate veering toward extremes" (Carson 17).