Punch Me Up to the Gods
The story opens with Broome standing at a bus stop in Pennsylvania. Broome observes a toddler named Tuan wailing, and crying, right in front of the father. The father’s response is, “‘Stop cryin’, Tuan! Be a man, Tuan!’” (22). This scene causes Broome to reflect on his own past, remembering when his own father taught him to handle his emotions in the exact same way: “As Tuan’s father publicly chastises him for his tears, I remember how my own tears were seen as an affront. I remember how my own father looked at me as if I was…about to set the whole concept of Black manhood on fire” (23).
Much of Broome’s memoir reflects on how the very idea of “being a man” comes as a sacrifice, as he believes many of the best parts of life are missed when one is too attached to this concept. Broome comes to this realization while trying to understand his father: “ In the end, his need to be a ‘man’ cut him off from everything worthwhile in life” (257). In that sense, Tuan and his father serve as the mirror in this narrative, a mirror that allows Brian to understand his and his father’s relationship with new eyes.
Yet Broome is extremely sympathetic to both of his parents. At one point in the memoir, Broome’s own narrative voice goes fully dormant, replaced by the voice of his mother, who then proceeds to tell her side of the story. Through her voice, Broome understands how and why he was raised the way he was. Despite the apparent harshness of his father’s parenting, Broome understands where the harshness comes from: “A Black child needs to learn discipline in this world because if they don’t learn it, they end up dashed up on the rocks. In jail or dead or worse” (251). Broome makes clear to readers that the point of this harsh parenting comes not from malintent; rather, completely the opposite. By the end of the memoir, Broome realizes, “Yes, I was loved. Just not in ways that I could understand” (341).
In addition to reflecting on his family life, Broome's sexuality is another important point of focus in his story. Broome is exceptionally aware of his sexuality from a young age. His experience with his gayness is one that gave him no choice: “Homosexuality, as it so often does, attacked me in my bed in the middle of the night. I resisted with every fiber of my being until I could resist no longer” (87). Unfortunately, Broome quickly learned through observation that who he is is unacceptable after his mother shows disdain for an effeminate man on a television show: “A boy who likes boys…and now I knew that my mother hated them. It confirmed what I had been slowly realizing: that I needed to hide myself. I was twelve” (232).
As Broome comes to terms with and becomes more comfortable with his own sexuality, he increasingly realizes that because of the community that he lives in, he will have a difficult time fitting in, especially as a gay black man: “Growing up, it didn’t take me long to learn that my gayness detracted from my Blackness. Black, gay men are punch lines to the Black community. An anomaly to be ridiculed. Relegated to the role” (155). He feels alienated from others like him, and wonders, “Why I am often afraid of my own people…What do you do when your own people don’t want you? How do you become anything?” (156).
And amongst other gay people, Broome finds himself unsure about exactly where he fits in. He observes how homonormativity is present in the gay community:“every couple at Pressley’s is arranged butch to femme….mimicking the traditional roles of men and women” (199). Yet when a bouncer tries to ask him if he is a “stud” or a “fish”—masculine or feminine— Brian’s answer is, “I do not know” (199).
Punch Me Up to the Gods demonstrates Broome’s remarkable ability to deliver his story as a compelling narrative. The memoir’s form—how it bounces back and forth from the present with Tuan’s plotline and then into Broome’s past—artfully represents not only the memories that have informed his life but also serves as a unique and insightful narrative that stands as a story on its own.
